Becoming Limitless: how to stop limiting beliefs and achieve success in the workplace
Have you ever felt unworthy? Inadequate? Debilitated by imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. At some point, whether professionally or personally, many of us have had to battle the underlying belief that we’re not good enough.
Discussing mental wellness in the workplace, the first InX Virtual Summit took place on Tuesday 19th March, hosted by Natalie Whittlesey, C-suite engagement director for The IN Group, and Reiss Gregory, manager of InX’s global manufacturing team. We were honoured to be joined by celebrated CHRO Susan Schmitt Winchester, who shared some useful tools to help us break free of these limiting beliefs and succeed in our careers and in life.
How we’re affected by the past
We often underestimate how much our past experiences affect us in our everyday lives. Susan’s childhood gave her the mistaken belief that it was everybody else’s job to determine her value, especially men in authority. Her job was to be as perfect and people-pleasing as possible in order to receive their much needed validation.
In a seminal study of 17,000 US adults conducted from 1995 to 1997, physicians Dr Vincent Felitti, Dr Robert Anda and their colleagues developed the concept of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) – negative experiences that happen to us before the age of 18. Alarmingly, the study revealed that two-thirds of the US population have at least one ACE.
ACEs feed into two types of trauma: Big T Trauma (10 ACEs) and Little T Trauma (where an accumulation of minor traumas over time equate to a Big T Trauma). If you have four or more ACEs, you’re more likely to experience health related issues.
Turning trauma into triumph
We tend to dismiss our past or try to rationalise it. We might think our childhood wasn’t that bad, but even a happy childhood doesn’t mean immunity to traumatic experiences. We might also want to protect our family secrets or avoid dwelling on the past. But past trauma directly impacts our career, so acknowledging that trauma, and having a deeper understanding of how it affects us in the workplace, is critical.
Your people’s personal trauma can damage company performance, productivity, culture, engagement and retention. But coming through challenging experiences can strengthen us as human beings. You become adept at navigating confusion, learn to read people’s feelings, and become anticipating and compassionate.
How do you use the past positively instead of spiralling into negative emotions? And as leaders, how do you create positive environments?
“Imagine you’re an animal…”
Early in her career, Susan was invited to join a notoriously aggressive and challenging team in her organisation. Feeling overwhelmed, inadequate and constantly second-guessing herself, Susan found all her people-pleasing, perfectioning and overworking were suddenly not effective anymore.
After 11 difficult months, her executive coach opened her eyes to the idea that perhaps her own behaviour was influencing the way she was perceived by these challenging colleagues, resulting in negative behavioural patterns. The coach suggested a coping strategy of imagining herself through their eyes, looking at her. If they picked an animal to represent her symbolically, what animal would it be? Susan thought they’d see her as a golden retriever puppy dog, needy and desperate to be valued, while they’d be represented by a grizzly bear, gorilla, wolf and hyena.
Susan realised that her neediness and desire to please were making them eat her alive. It was not their job to tell her she was enough – each one of us in responsible for determining if we’re valuable or not. It was time to stop looking at them to determine her worth and to change her leadership energy. It proved to be a turning point in her career. And so the golden retriever puppy became a lioness.
When we judge other people, we put ourselves in the position of victim. But we can’t change others – we can only change ourselves. Susan realised she had to step into a totally different leadership temperament, taking more responsibility and accountability for how she was showing up. She started to take on her colleagues in a way that demonstrated her leadership belief in herself, speaking forthrightly and calling them out on specific behaviours.
What animal are you showing up with at work every day?
The workplace as a laboratory for personal healing
When we claim our power in the workplace, we can improve our everyday experience and achieve greater self-acceptance. Not only is work a useful place to practice new ways of showing up in our relationships with other people, but it’s full of emotionally triggering moments – which, as we tend to keep them hidden, can cause a buildup of negative emotions. These, in turn, set off our limiting beliefs that we’re unloved, incapable and unworthy, manifesting in the workplace as imposter syndrome, perfectionism, making ourselves invisible or even bullying.
When we’re stressed, we go into fight, flight, freeze or fawn. As a leader, our behaviour rubs off on our team, so if we’re outwardly angry or anxious, this will have a negative effect on those around us. That means we must always be conscious of our behaviour and recognise our position as a role model.
Stopping these limiting beliefs
There are five ingredients that you need to flourish in your life: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement. Fortunately, your mind isn’t fixed; it’s malleable. That means we can change the way we think to produce better outcomes. There are two principal pathways that together, can help us stop our limiting beliefs:
Neuroplasticity – We have the ability to rewire the neural pathways of our brain through the science of neuroplasticity. By learning new strategies and allowing the neural network of the brain to grow, we can reprogramme limiting beliefs.
Positive psychology – When we focus on positive things, we improve the quality of our life. Be kinder to yourself; shift from being an inner critic to an inner coach. We can also bring positive psychology to the workplace in simple ways, like asking whether anyone has something they’d like to celebrate during a meeting. This can change the entire dynamic of the team experience.
Stopping limiting beliefs won’t just improve your life on a personal level. It will also enhance your team culture and bring improved performance, productivity, engagement and retention.
Conclusion
The difficulties we experience at work can trigger our limiting beliefs, but they can also be catalysts for growth by encouraging us to think about how to improve ourselves. We don’t have to accept our feelings of inadequacy; we can rewire our neural networks to overcome these limiting beliefs.
It starts with you. Understand how your limiting beliefs are triggered when you feel threatened in any way. Become aware of your own limiting beliefs and behaviour patterns. Pay attention to how you show up in those crash moments.
Focus on your team by using empathy as your performance lever. Shift from asking yourself “What’s wrong with them?” to “I wonder what happened to them?” Empathise with their state of mind, understand their challenges and uncover how you can better support them. Lastly, by bringing positive stories of successful interactions and achievements to each day, you can elevate those around you.
Many thanks to Susan for an engaging, informative and at times, emotional InX Virtual Summit. If you’d like to speak to one of our experts about cultivating a positive and productive team environment, or you’re looking for the right leader to strengthen your team, please get in touch with us now.
